Welcome to the 2005 Morrow Family Christmas Letter – Special Edition. As a past recipient, you know just how seriously we take the Morrow Family Christmas Letter, affectionately abbreviated by our friends as the MF Christmas Letter. We prefer the MFCL. In last year’s edition, we confessed that the MFCL is not just an opportunity for us to share the happenings of the year… it is an opening to win a fierce competition that exists only in our own twisted minds: Christmas Letter of the Year.
To secure our victory and to (in the Christmas spirit) mercilessly crush our competition, we have again raised the bar for our MFCL performance. The MFCL would not, in 2005, merely be letters on a page. This year, The Morrow Family Christmas Letter DVD (MFCLDVD) was created, with an extended array of bonus features, so you would not have to miss a single minute of 2005 with the Morrows. It was film-making tour de force. You’ve heard of DeMille? Spielberg? Lucas? Morons.
Unfortunately, Rachael learned it would cost us an additional 13 cents per mailing to include a DVD, and that was the end of that. Yes, we care deeply for you, but our relationship simply won’t support exceeding standard postage charges. Apparently, it won’t support a card either. Merry Cheapskate Christmas. This is really no way to win Christmas Letter of the Year.
But, as if to taunt you, we have included some of the reviews of the MCFCLDVD below:
“A movie that demands our surrender to its energy, to its bold-stroke moving making, to its acting and above all to its vision.”
“It will take you on the ride of your life.”
“If you enjoy The Three Stooges, you will love the antics of Annie Morrow as she turns one and learns to walk and talk. It is dramatic flair unparalleled in the toddler world. It seems unfair that someone with such a limited vocabulary could communicate so much.”
“‘Remodeling the Basement’ was an action spectacle of weight, splendor and vast entertainment value. The nine foot screen and earth-shaking 7.1 channel surround sound defies logic. Anyone who has ever considered remodeling must see this movie.”
“A stunning performance by Mrs. Morrow as she flies into her 30th birthday party, changes jobs and begins work as a business consultant and market researcher. This is movie making at its best.”
“Genius.”
“The cinematography shot on location, while Whitewater Rafting in Big Sky, Montana, is spectacular. A must-see for nature lovers. The guide falling off the raft will leave you breathless and wanting more.”
“The special features include your favorite Morrow characters as they battle the red-headed toddler terrorizing their home, it will take you on the ride of your life.”
“Mr. Morrow’s pontifications of the success of the Home Builder’s Association, where he has spent the last five years, seemed a little long, but he makes up for it in charm and pie eating.”
We have had a wonderful, blessing-filled 2005. Anna is growing so fast and we are confident that by next April she will be familiar enough with the IRS code and Department of Revenue regulations that she should be able to do our taxes for us. As we conclude this year’s letter, one more quick comment: You are soooooo good looking! (a little flattery never hurts when you are a finalist for Christmas Letter of the Year honors and didn’t send a card).
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