Days – nigh, weeks – have
passed since you began your daily anticipatory trudges to the increasingly
irrelevant U.S. Postal service box that sits atop your
driveway/sidewalk/doorstep. Each day prior to this one, your trek was met with
the disappointing consolation prize of somebody else's Christmas letter. Or a
card. Even lamentable photo postcards of household pets wearing sweaters – as
if purposefully intended to torment you.
But today. Today
was different. Finally. In your hands you beheld