We apologize for the late hour of the arrival of the Morrow Family Christmas Letter (MFCL). Due to reckless irresponsibility, the MFCL found itself in need of a bailout. Fortunately, at the eleventh hour, when the MFCL was on the very brink dissolution, the U.S. Treasury Department determined that the MFCL was simply too big to fail. The imminent collapse of the MFCL posed too great a threat to the enjoyment of Christmas for too many Americans. So, the government has offered us a $7 billion “bridge loan to nowhere.” We responded enthusiastically: “YES WE CAN (take your money).”‘Tis the season for big government bailouts!
In retrospect, the MFCL just got too big too fast. Like many, we fell victim to corporate greed. Hindsight is always 20/20, but looking back it may have been ill-advised to give out all those huge executive bonus packages, financed on Big Lots gift cards. Maybe we shouldn’t have charged that fleet of private jets on MFCL ad revenue speculation. Admittedly, major sponsors have been harder to come by than anticipated. And unquestionably we made far too many concessions to the UMFCLW (United Morrow Family Christmas Letter Workers) union. We should have known better than to grant collective bargaining to a four-year old, a bunch of laid-off elves and some distant cousins wearing hand-painted Teamster sweatshirts. Seriously, you have no idea how big this thing has become.
Anna is four. She loves life, babies, coloring, dogs and Sarah Palin. While she can’t see Russia from her house, she did play her first organized sport this year (soccer). She wore pearls to her practices and cried because her orange game shirt was not ‘pretty’ enough. She is a full-fledged member of the Princess Cult and even got to have dinner with Cinderella at Disney World. She loves telling her brother what to do and already gives her mom advice on what to wear (although right now her suggestions always seem include old bridesmaid dresses and hooker heels).
Alex is nearing his second birthday. He is walking, talking, throwing anything smaller than a monkey’s fist into the toilet, and finding new and innovative ways to torment his sister (and sometimes the dog). When he can hold her still long enough to get both arms around her, he’s strong enough to throw her right to the ground. We’re so proud.
Rachael loves spending time working with and playing with the kids at home. She is conducting some strategic planning and focus group research for companies and political campaigns as time allows. And most days she avoids the temptation to self-medicate.
Matt spent 2008 clinging to guns and religion. He got a shotgun last Christmas and has really taken to his new hobby of blowing things up. He also has taken on the responsibility of teaching our Adult Bible Fellowship class at Second Baptist Church. He continues his work as Executive Officer of the Home Builders Association of Greater Springfield. And if there is one industry with less going on than the Christmas letter industry, it’s home building. On the bright side, in 2008 Matt was recognized by his peers nationwide as the Executive Officer of the Year. He got a shiny new medal and everything. Add in the medal for first place of the bottom third of the sporting clays tournament, and the construction paper medal he made with the kids, and his medal count now stands at three (eat it, Michael Phelps). Even in these hard economic times, we did not want to miss the opportunity to wish you a very Merry Christmas - especially on your tax nickel. As we ponder free gifts, we cannot help but think of the greatest free gift of all: the gift of salvation and eternal life, given freely by our Lord Jesus Christ. Our prayer is that each of you will experience His peace this holiday season, and that you will have a wonderful new year.
